Um, Excuse Me Waiter, Does This Come with a Side of Rench Fries?

Mmmm, nothing like a nice BBQ roasat beef sandwich on rench bread. This is a classic item on the menu of this popular downtown restaurant, "Wummy Fwood," run and owned by a five year old entrepreneur. Just kidding (but I wish I wasn't).

Correction: For Pete's sake,why doesn't anyone proof read?!? It's a short menu, not a lot of words, you can do it. 

*Picture brought to you by Dina Tousignant

You Want Change America? Well Here You Go! We've Decided To Replace Easter! (we're not a Christian nation anyway)

 Well yes, I suppose I am a happy eater during the holidays. But how is that supposed to convince me to buy a bunch of ceramic rabbits? 

Correction: Unless this sign is hung over an elaborate Easter feast table inviting guests to chuckle at the cheesy, yet somewhat witty pun (and also dive into the food), then I think someone should find that missing "S" and put it back where it belongs. People are going to start saying "Happy Eater Sunday." You know how that goes. Some kid makes a typo and suddenly everyone's saying "pwned" instead of "owned" like it was some brilliant, revolutionary, coined term. 

*This picture is brought to you by Laura DiBenedetto

Sl-ow Do-wn

Okay. So I've tried really hard to understand this. I've seen a billion other "Slow" signs and none of them had problems with fitting the word on the sign so that the "sl" and the "ow" are together. Is there a strategic purpose behind this design or is this just the result of poor planning? Peeeerhaps the breaking apart of the word causes you to do a double take and actually read the sign. And when you read it, you are forced to read it slowly which then tricks you into driving slower....Hmmm, curious. Maybe the designer has a psychology background.

Correction: Well, if this is just poor planning, then I'd say put a little more effort into it next time. But if it's the latter, then I have no place to correct ingeniousness. 

Eware of the Lizzard. Uy Some Read and Milk.

The weather channel was having some technical difficulties one day. Someone must have popped all the "B"s off of all their keyboards. Sorry Block Islanders. No one likes to see their name misspelled. 

Aside from misrepresenting towns, this technical difficulty has caused more serious issues:

I apologize for unrecognizable-ness of this photo, but the screen was moving and a 1.3 megapixel phone camera is not the greatest. But anyway, it reads "Lizzard Warning." You know, kinda like the locus warning a while back, except with scaly, crawling, eyeball-licking reptiles. In the road, in trees, on your windshield, in your mailbox, etc...People are going to be very confused and unprepared when they expect a lizard infestation and wind up with a foot of snow.

Correction: Time to call the techie!

The Only Thing Scary About This Movie is its Grammer

This phrase was part of a description for some corny horror flick on FearNet. Can't exactly recall the name, but I'm pretty sure it had the word "dead" in it. I enjoy movie descriptions. I think it would be a really awesome job to have, watching movies and writing a paragraph description about each that will ultimately help the common movie-watcher decide if he/she wants to waste the next hour and a half or so of his/her life on a particular movie. Whoever wrote this description screwed this film over. I am immediately turned off...

Correction: Wrong "they're." I believe "their" would be the correct word. This terrible word fail is ruining my good time.

Machine Machine

This is a classic mistake I've seen before in front of various convenience stores. It's not as common anymore because old signs are being replaced by new signs, but I caught this one at a rundown, ghetto, deli-mart in the town next to mine. 

Correction: If you haven't already caught onto what is wrong with this, allow me to explain. "ATM" stands for "Automated Teller Machine." Understanding this, the sign would be read "Automated Teller Machine Machine Available." New sign creators have realized this and have dropped the second machine. Took them a while though to figure it out and they were able to get away with it, too. Apparently, what "ATM" stands for isn't common knowledge, hmmm...

"Flipping" Out On Facebook

This guy totally set himself up with this one. I can imagine that us girls would seem complicated to a slow guy like yourself. And don't add the little "lol" to soften up your rage. You're not even laughing. No one's ever laughing when they write "lol."

I wonder what happened to piss this guy off and then lead him to post it all over Facebook. I bet you it was one of those situations where this guy and girl are friends and the guy is only friends with the girl because he wants her. The girl, however, is friends with the guy because she wants to be his friend. The guy then asks the girl out and she declines because she's not interested in dating him. He then is confused because he thought that she was interested since she was his friend. He doesn't get it that girls can be friends with guys and not be sexually attracted to them. Therefore, he writes her off as "complicated" and expresses his frustration on Facebook. Sound possible?

Correction. What is with the random "are"? Take that out. Then stop making yourself look like an idiot posting statuses like this. Do Facebook statuses annoy anyone else, or is it just me? I could write a whole blog about it. *light bulb*