Machine Machine

This is a classic mistake I've seen before in front of various convenience stores. It's not as common anymore because old signs are being replaced by new signs, but I caught this one at a rundown, ghetto, deli-mart in the town next to mine. 

Correction: If you haven't already caught onto what is wrong with this, allow me to explain. "ATM" stands for "Automated Teller Machine." Understanding this, the sign would be read "Automated Teller Machine Machine Available." New sign creators have realized this and have dropped the second machine. Took them a while though to figure it out and they were able to get away with it, too. Apparently, what "ATM" stands for isn't common knowledge, hmmm...

"Flipping" Out On Facebook

This guy totally set himself up with this one. I can imagine that us girls would seem complicated to a slow guy like yourself. And don't add the little "lol" to soften up your rage. You're not even laughing. No one's ever laughing when they write "lol."

I wonder what happened to piss this guy off and then lead him to post it all over Facebook. I bet you it was one of those situations where this guy and girl are friends and the guy is only friends with the girl because he wants her. The girl, however, is friends with the guy because she wants to be his friend. The guy then asks the girl out and she declines because she's not interested in dating him. He then is confused because he thought that she was interested since she was his friend. He doesn't get it that girls can be friends with guys and not be sexually attracted to them. Therefore, he writes her off as "complicated" and expresses his frustration on Facebook. Sound possible?

Correction. What is with the random "are"? Take that out. Then stop making yourself look like an idiot posting statuses like this. Do Facebook statuses annoy anyone else, or is it just me? I could write a whole blog about it. *light bulb*

I'm a Sucker for a "Sard" Item

Okay, so I can't take credit for finding this one because I found it on failimages.com. But I just had to share it because I laugh almost every time I look at this. This is funny to me for a couple of reasons:

1). I've totally done things like this. I always twist my words around and come out saying ridiculous things. This one time I wanted to tell my friend to tuck in her pant pockets but it came out "Puck your tockets in!"

2). Even though I am also guilty of word twists, if I had written this, I totally would have noticed it and tried to fix it. I really just don't know how people could miss this mistake. Perhaps they were in a rush and didn't have time to fix it, figuring that people would know what they meant to say. Or maybe they thought it was so funny that they had to leave it as it was. Or maybe they're just dumb, who knows?

Correction: Well this is an easy one. "Sard" obviously should read "Sale." If I had done this, I would have simply covered up the writing with a piece of paper and started over. Also, as a side note, it would be helpful if they added an address or something. An arrow really isn't saying much.

This Fortune Came From One Smart Cookie.

I love fortune cookies. I also love word fails, so this was a good day for me. My boyfriend actually got this one but of course I took it for the purpose of this blog. Kid you not, I had to read this at least 3 times to figure out what the heck it was trying to say. At first I thought it was just the result of a foreign Chinese guy's bad English, but then I remembered reading in Time Magazine that some old American man in Utah writes all the fortunes for fortune cookies. Guess it's just a bad typo.

Correction: I think this is supposed to say, "What is contained in everything?" Nothing anyone can do to change it at this point. It's probably in a million different cookies distributed randomly all over the country. Hopefully everyone who gets this fortune will at least get a good laugh out of it since they were jipped of a legit fortune.

Get Me Some Bread from that Sweaty, Crusty, Old Man

If you've ever been to New York City, perhaps you've seen this place. I believe it is a bakery. This, in my opinion, is a advertisement fail. I've shown this picture to a lot of people and every reaction was the same: "Eww." Exactly. 

Why? Word association. The words "hot" and "crusty" aren't usually associated with delicious bread, which is what the owners of this bakery were going for. Hot makes me think of hot weather and crusty makes me think of a crusty old man. Together, I associate the words with a sweaty, crusty, old man. Doesn't exactly draw me in or stir up my appetite. Also, it would sound weird if a mother sent her son out to run errands and said, "Could you please stop at Hot & Crusty and get me some bread?" Bleh!

Correction: Find a more appealing title for a bakery. Something like Warm & Toasty. Now doesn't that sound better? Heck, even if it were just called Bread it would sound more appealing.

Good Luck With That...

I am part of an organization at my college and at one of our meetings we did an exercise where everyone wrote on a poster things that they were hopeful for. Some kid wrote this. I say good luck climbing up the ladder when you don't even know how to spell "wealth". I think I learned how to spell that word in 3rd grade.

Correction: Brush up on your spelling buddy if you want to reach your goal. "Wealth"only has one "l".

Mystery Flavors

 

Other natural flavors? What does that even mean? That really could be anything. They could have put feces in this. It is technically natural. And doesn't this seem a little repetitive? "Natural Flavor With Other Natural Flavors." Shouldn't just "Natural Flavors" suffice? This is a very questionable food product.

Correction: The correction would depend on the intention. If the first mention of natural flavor is referring to cheddar, than it should say "Real Cheddar With Other Natural Flavors." If that is not the intention, it should just say "Natural Flavors" since we don't even know what the first mention of a natural flavor is anyway.

"I Aced Archaeological Anthropology! (but I can't pass a fifth grade spelling test.)"

I was reading my textbook for a quiz in my general archaeology class when I came across this. I thought it was a little pathetic and also very ironic. The word "scientifically" is misspelled...in a science book. That is hilarious. It makes me wonder if the author of this textbook had an editor. If he/she did, they were a god-awful one. I question the reliability of this textbook. Seriously.

Correction: Get an editor or fire the one you have now and get a new one! I would assume, since this author has a PhD, that they would know how to spell the word "scientifically"(at least I hope, but who knows nowadays?).

This is Who We're Trusting to Teach Our Kids?!?

Okay, so this is just unacceptable. This is a poster that is hanging up in various locations at my brother's high school. It's advertising a program available to help students with special needs with their school work. This poses two questions for me:

1). Should someone who can't spell the word "program" be allowed to help kids with schoolwork? and...

2). How can a high school hang a poster on their wall that has a blatant spelling error and not worry about it giving the school a bad reputation? Do they not proof read things before they display them for all too see?

Correction: This is either a careless mistake or the person who wrote it does not know how to spell the word "program". If it's simply a careless mistake, the person who wrote it needs to stop being lazy and proof read before they print out heaven knows how many copies. However, if they simply just don't know how to spell, they need to be fired and go back to elementry school where they will learn that "program" is spelled with an "a" not and "o".

Beware of the Bio-Moles

This is the result of taking notes too fast. I was in the library with my friend Alicia and she was studying for physiology while I was fiddling around on my computer. All of a sudden, she bursts into laughter. I asked her what was up and she struggled to tell me between chuckles:

              

"This is what happens when I take notes too fast...I write 'biomoles' instead of 'bio molecules'." 

             

She went to grab the eraser and fix it, but before she could, I ripped the notebook from her hands, whipped out my cell, and took a picture. I simply can't pass up an opportunity to share a word fail when it presents itself. Plus, the word "biomole" strikes me funny. Makes me think of a bio hazardous mole. 

Like this:

 

Or maybe this:

Correction: Alicia had the right idea before I so rudely ripped her notebook from her hands. Thank you  Sir Joseph Priestly for your world changing invention of the eraser. Without you, Alicia would be stuck studying "biomoles" instead of "bio molecules".  It would be a terrible tragedy.

My Favorite Kind of Flavor: The Fake Kind

                                                                                          

This is a product found only at Walmart. Apparently they take pride in the fact that their product is made from artificial ingredients. I never get sick of this. It's a classic example of a sheer stupidity in advertising. On a side note, I love the dumb looking Joe Jonas head floating in the background. Guess someone was too lazy to put the magazine where it belongs and settled on the chip aisle as a good enough spot.

Correction: It is necessary to list that the chip's flavor is artificial.  But don't declare it proudly in large italicized font across the front. Put it in small letters towards the bottom like any sensible advertiser would.   

Thanks Windows!

Every once in a while, when my internet randomly decides to stop working, this message will pop up on my computer screen. Gee thanks, Windows. So nice of you to inform me that my wireless card network controller is defective and my internet isn't working and then so generously offer to check for a solution...online.  

Correction: I don't know...maybe don't suggest finding a solution online after just telling me that my wireless internet card isn't working? Rather, provide a list of probable reasons why it has stopped working.